Subconscious self

I can feel the wheels of my subconscious working instensly. Sleep is fraught with anxiety, past selves, and doubts. There’s something bothering me on a level I can’t acknowledge or communicate.  I feel like a failure as I wait, unknowing but feeling intensity.  I try to distract, but everything feels pointless. There is stress and […]

KieryClam

If I’ve learned anything over the last week it’s that as nice as hiding from everything sounds it’s not necessarily helpful, or useful, and it doesn’t stop me from internalizing all of the things. Sometimes problems get so overwhelming and I think avoiding them will help and it seems like a great idea, but what […]

I don't know what to call this

I was going through the files on my laptop looking for something specific and I ran across a picture that I saved from 2007. I won’t post it here, because it makes my stomach turn, but content note: graphic descriptions of infections and medical neglect. My parents stopped taking us to doctors before I was […]

Desperate, and in need of help

It’s worth mentioning, in 2010, my parents all but disowned me and I spent 2 weeks crying, in my room, with the lights out, dealing with an amount of intense pain that I had only dealt with once before – in 2008 when my parents told me that I couldn’t see or talk to my […]

Depression and I (TW: Suicidal Thoughts)

I’m going to be doing a series of posts about depression (my depression). I could do one long post but it’d be a small book… I’ve struggled with depression since puberty. That’s about as far back as I remember anyway. At the time, I had no words for what I was feeling/going through, my parents […]